Mark of Sacrifice
by SammyQuill
Summary: Five weddings, five dreams, five couples, all linked by the color of loss and regret.


**Author's Note:** Written when I was a teenager (yes, HP was my first fandom) so please excuse the terrible writing. I just wanted to have it archived here because I'd like to put all my fics in one place. This fic was written to the prompt "Color of Loss" and awarded second place.

Can you believe that even after all these years, I still don't own Harry Potter. *needs better lawyers*

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><p>MARK OF SACRIFICE<p>

By MissyQuill

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><p>Sunday, 15th July, 1978<p>

The gathering was small. Only a handful of people present to watch the amazing James Potter and the brilliant Lily Evans joined in holy matrimony for evermore. However, most guests were in a better position than him. At least they didn't have to lurk in the shadows to watch the clearly love-struck couple take their wedding vows.

Yes, for Severus Snape had come to the wedding uninvited. Though he knew he was not welcome, he had come. Though he'd promised himself that he wouldn't, he had come. Why? He could never answer this question, because to answer it would mean acknowledging the hopeful eleven-year-old boy who still lived deep inside him.

She looked so lovely in her long and flowing white gown. It was not extravagant by any means, but she made it so by wearing it. Yes, his Lily had a way of doing that to everything and everyone she touched.

In her hands, she held the palest shade of blue lilies. She had always said that she preferred her lilies charmed blue, that being her favorite color. Severus averted his eyes from the reminiscent flowers but it was too late.

He was back in Spinner's End, a boy of twelve, talking to a girl holding a pale blue book.

_"__What__'__s__ that?__" __he__ inquired._

_"__It__'__s__ a__ book,__ Sev,__" __she __replied, __obviously __trying __to __avoid__ giving__ a __direct__ answer._

_"__I __can__ see__ that, __but__ it__'__s __definitely __not __one __of__ ours. __And__ don__'__t__ bother __denying __it, __Lily, __the __people __on __the __cover __aren__'__t __moving.__" __He__ sneered._

_"__Well,__ it__'__s__ a __Muggle__ fairy__tale.__ But__ it__'__s __not __stupid, __Sev, __it__'__s __a __great __story __about __a __boy __who __loves __a __girl __who__ doesn__'__t __love __him__ back,__" __the __girl__ explained._

Caught_ against __his__ own __will,__he__ asked,__ " __So__ what__ happens __in __the __end?__"_

Her_ eyes __lighted__ up __at__ his __interest. "__Well, __in __the__ end __the__ girl __realizes __that __the__ bloke__'__s __love __is__ pure__ and__ genuine,__ and__ she__ comes__ back__ to __him.__"_

And that's why he was here, wasn't he? Pathetically hoping that it wasn't too late.

But it was, for when he awoke from his reverie, it was only to see her, eyes sparkling and cheeks flushed, saying, "I do."

Severus didn't see anything after that, his vision too blurry to be relied on as he slunk out of the church as quietly as he had entered.

* * *

><p>Monday, 3rd June, 1996<p>

Nothing about the modest gathering suggested that it was for a wedding. For one thing, the wedding minister was not there because he had refused point blank to marry a werewolf, and so in his place stood Alastor Moody, with a certain intimidating air, missing body parts and magical eye daring anyone to laugh at his formal dress robes; and for another, the bride could only be distinguished by her radiant face. Otherwise her pink hair and short white dress wouldn't have looked out of place at Diagon Alley.

Hestia Jones watched all this with a serene expression on her face, never once betraying her true feelings. And only when the bridegroom arrived did she find herself needing the powder room and a bit of fresh air to have a good cry alone.

Out in the courtyard of Grimmauld Place, she chided herself for being stupid to cry when the two getting married were so obviously happy. But she couldn't help herself, he had been wearing robes of palest blue.

_She __remembered __him__ from__ Hogwarts __though __he__ probably __did__ not. __She__ was __always __the __shy,__ quiet__ Hufflepuff __who__ was__ often __left __out__ just__ because__ she__ never __spoke__ up.__ She __still __remembered __how __in __fourth__ year,__ when __Professor__ Sprout__ had __told __them __to __pick__ partners__ and __James __had __pounced __on __Lily __and__ Peter__ on__ Sirius,__ she,__ too __shy __to__ approach__ anyone,__ had__ been __left__ out__ … __again.__ But__ he __had__ come __to__ her, __introduced__ himself,__ offered __to__ be __her__ partner.__They __had__ gotten __an__ "__O__" __on__ that__ particular__ project._

How_ in __fifth __year__ he __had__ given __her __a__ soft__ blue__ quill__ for__ her__ birthday __to__ keep__ track __of__ all__ the __prefect__ duties.__ How __he __had__ suggested__ she__ wear__ something __light__ blue__ for __the __graduation __ceremony __as __it __brought __out__ the__ color__ of__ her__ eyes._

Hestia knew it was wrong to blame him for marrying Nymphadora. She obviously made him happy. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. It was just that he had been the only one who had ever noticed quiet, mousy Hestia Jones.

Fiercely rubbing her eyes, Hestia promised herself that she would not resent him and his new wife. She would not complicate their already conflicted life. She would go in there and give them both a congratulatory hug and breathe in his scent one last time, her face against his pale blue robes.

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><p>Monday, 14th February 2000<p>

The Great Hall was full of people. And why shouldn't it be, seeing as the wedding that was taking place there had been the talk of the country for weeks now? The Boy-Who-Lived getting married to his Hogwarts sweetheart and his best friend's sister.

Though Potter would never look presentable in whatever he wore due to his bird's nest hair, Draco supposed the Weasley girl didn't look too bad. She had on an ankle-length white dress that fitted and flowed at all the right places, showing off her stunning figure. The edge of the dress was laced in blue; blue glass slippers and a tiny blue gem in the shape of a pyramid hanging from a delicate silver chain around her long ivory neck completed the look.

But looking at that necklace only served to remind Draco of what could have been if things were different. The many what-if's that until now, he was stubbornly refusing to acknowledge. Automatically, his mind flew back to the dark night near the lake in his seventh year at Hogwarts.

_At__ that __time,__ school __had __been __his__ sanctuary __as __being __home __meant __the __company __of __the __Dark __Lord __and __his __deranged __Aunt__ Bella. __Often __too __worried __to __go __to __sleep __at __night, __the __Head __Boy __had __taken __to __wandering __the __grounds.__ That__'__s __how __he __had __happened __upon__ her __one__ night._

_He had __reached__ his__ most__ favored__ spot__ under __a __tree__ by __the __lake__ only __to __find __someone __already __there.__ That__ someone __had __very__ lovely __red hair__ which __gleamed__ by __the __light__ of__ the__ full__ moon__ and__ a __face__ buried__ in __her__ knees,__ which__ she__ hugged __tightly._

_He wondered__ why __Ginny __Weasley__ was __sobbing __her __heart __out __in __the __dead __of __night __and__ even __opened __his __mouth __to __ask __her __before __changing__ his__ mind.__ His __queries, __no __matter __how __well__ meant, __would __cause __more __harm __than __good._

_He didn__'__t __know __why __she __evoked __this __feeling__ in__ him. __Perhaps __some __part __of __him __associated__ with __the__ pain__ and__ desperation __she__ was __going __through. __All __he __was __really __sure __of __at __that __point __was __that __he__ felt __like __crying__ too,__ and__ not__ for __reasons__ very __unlike__ her__s.__ He __turned __to __go._

_However_,_ he __couldn__'__t__ just__ leave __her __like __that, __crying__ as __though__ her __heart __had__ been__ broken __a __million __times __over. __In __the__ end,__ he__ just__ sat__ quietly__ down__ beside__ her._

_Maybe she really didn't notice him or pretended not to, but in any case, she kept weeping for a very long time. And finally, when she did look up to meet his gaze, her eyes showed no sign of the usual hostility, only unbearable sadness._

_"So I'm guessing this is all about old scar head," he had said as a lame attempt at humor._

_Most unusually she had not retaliated with a witty retort but had just nodded her head. After a while, she had spoken._

_"I just miss him so much. I worry about him all the time … If he's okay, hurt, captured, dead." She choked another sob here. "I wonder if he even thinks of me."_

_At this point, he had known what to do. Being a Malfoy, he had not done many good things in his life without expecting the favor back, but that had been one of those rare occasions. He had pulled out a silver chain with a blue sapphire pyramid hanging from it. He had handed it to her silently._

_"What is this?" she asked after examining it._

_"It's got a Memory Charm on it. You can charm it so that when this person is thinking of you, it'll glow. My mother gave it to me so I'd know she is thinking about me, but you need it more. Here, all you have to do it think about Potter and say 'Memoralia'," he'd explained._

_She had remained quiet for several seconds, working with her wand to reprogram the charm, and sure, the sapphire had lit up a brilliant blue so suddenly that it almost outshone the moon. "Wow, he must miss you a whole lot," Draco commented dryly._

_She clasped the chain around her throat and got up to leave then slowly turned her head around and said the three words that had become the bane of his existence ever since._

_"Thank you, Draco."_

Now people were rushing to the newlyweds to congratulate them. The ceremony was over, till death do they part.

His parents, having established a sort of casual behavior with Potter since the war, were also among the well wishers. He supposed he'd better join them. His cousin Astoria was with them as well.

And as he stepped up to congratulate the Potters, his eyes caught the blue light pulsing from Ginny's locket and she smiled. A smile meant only for him.

* * *

><p>Wednesday, 23rd May, 2001<p>

The first thing he noticed about The Burrow's garden was that it looked pretty, prettier than it had when Fleur had gotten married. Maybe it was just because the threat of 'He Who Must Not Be Named' was no longer thick in the air, but things looked brighter now. Sunshine was warmer, the birds chirpier and the flowers even smelled sweeter.

But the most beautiful sight that evening was, without a doubt, Hermione Granger, the blushing bride.

She looked every bit the happy fiancée as she walked down the aisle in her stunning floor-length gown embroidered with pale blue forget-me-nots, her hair straightened and tied in an elegant chignon and held in place by a pale blue diamond studded comb.

_How well he remembered the blue of that comb, the lovely blue of her dress the night at the Yule Ball. The happy dances, the comfortable chats, the quick kisses._

Yes, she had been his first love. The only one to catch the eye of the great Viktor Krum in all his seventeen years. And though he had come to terms with her moving on and finding the love of her life in that red-headed ass, he could never look at her without feeling a sharp pang of regret.

Weasley would never appreciate her the way she was meant to be. He would never notice how her chocolate eyes caught fire and how her jaw set when she was determinedly looking through a pile of dusty volumes for a spell. How her lips relaxed into a small and smug smile when she figured out the answer to a riddle. How her cheeks glowed after a morning walk around the lake in the cold.

But then he looked at Hermione, her face the picture of joy, reciting her wows in the same confident way in which she would have recited _Hogwarts:__A__History._

If she was happy, then he supposed he couldn't complain because that was always the one thing he'd wanted, for her to be happy.

With a smile on his face that wasn't as fake as he'd first thought it'd have to be, he made his way through the crowd to congratulate the new Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

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><p>Friday, 13th July, 2007<p>

_Look, Bunny, Neville and that Hannah girl are getting married. That's great isn't it?_

_But who on earth made the preparations? Look, see? They've got everything wrong, Bunny. They are standing on the left side of the yew tree, don't they want the tree spirit's blessings? And just look at that frill on Hannah's dress, doesn't she know it's bad luck to wear dark colors at weddings? I mean, look at Ginny in that lovely yellow dress, and Hermione in that nice pink one. Didn't I myself choose a nice bright green one to wear today? Well, if they don't want luck at their own wedding, I suppose we shouldn't bother ourselves about it. And they call me weird._

_It's true, Bunny, they all think I'm a bit odd because I believe in things like the Crumpled-Horned Snorkack and Nargles and think that gnome spit has medical qualities. Oh, and because I talk in my head to a Wrackspurt I've adopted, namely you, Bunny._

_You know, even though they think I'm strange, they like me. I know that for sure because I've fought alongside them many times and they are very willing to sacrifice themselves for my sake. And you know what, Bunny, that's something not many people would do._

_I like them all, but do you know who my favorite out of all of them is after Ginny? Why, it's that boy standing on the dais. He was my special friend. He never once called me Loony and would always pair up with me during DA sessions. He also saved my life in the Department of Mysteries in my fourth year and again in the Final Battle in my sixth. He is an amazing boy._

_You know, whenever I looked at his blue eyes, Bunny, I always remembered all those fairy tales mum used to read to me. You know, the ones about a lonely princess and how one day a handsome prince with dark hair and blue eye comes and takes her away to his kingdom, where they live happily ever after in a palace made of Treldon's feathers and Nargles' love._

_Well I couldn't help it. Neville had dark hair and blue eyes. And when he pulled out that sword, he did look like a prince. But as I told mum at that time, I wasn't a princess. I was Luna Lovegood, heir to the Quibbler._

_She laughed then. Her laughter was very nice. I still remember it sometimes and get very sad._

_Once that happened in school, Bunny. I got so sad about mum that I went to the Room of Requirement to cry and he walked in on me. He asked me what was wrong and I told him. He looked at me with those blue eyes and said that I shouldn't be sad because mum wouldn't have liked it. Well, he was right. Mum always said that you should only cry when stung by a fizz bug because they can give you pimples and make you go purple. So I stopped crying and it felt nice to have him there, just sitting quietly by my side._

_But Bunny, I don't feel so good now. I think I don't like that he's getting married to Hannah. I even think I might be jealous._

_You know what, Bunny? I just realized that I don't like sparkly blue eyes anymore!_

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><p><strong>End Note:<strong> Please forgive the lousy formatting. Either it sucks worse than a broken vacuum cleaner or I've been staring at it too long. Anyway, let me know what you think of my teenaged self. I'm expecting a fair amount of constructive nitpicking as I was just starting out back then._  
><em>


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